I was born the first of seven children, and raised in a Lutheran family. I graduated from high school in 1974, wanting to be a farmer, but unable to make a go of it. I went to work at General Motors. The economy went into recession and after some months being laid off, I joined the Air Force.

Dissatisfied with life and the religion of my youth, like many of those days I turned to drugs in a search for truth by "expanding my consciousness." Well it worked. Like others I found their indeed was a spiritual dimension beyond our five senses. Unfortunately I also discovered that drugs, like the occult, open a door that is not easily closed, and the spiritual entities one encounters there are not those which inhabit heaven.

I came away from that experience with the knowledge of two things. I had seen into my own soul and did not like what I saw. Until then I had imagined I was a Christian, I had been baptized and confirmed, sometimes I even read the Bible though I did not understand it. I even prayed (that God would give my desires). But I learned that I did not love God or know Him. I had discovered the spiritual reality of evil in the world and in me. And I knew that deep inside I was a an enemy of God. Like Lucifer, I had exalted my pride and will above that of God. And I knew that if I did not find the true God, if He did not forgive me and change me, my eternal destination would be a place I was already partially familiar with: Hell.

After a number of months of searching for the Savior, one day the Holy Spirit came into my dorm room and showed me that Jesus Christ has indeed died on that cross for MY sins, and that God really loved me in spite of what I had done. It was amazing. A few days later he came back and said, "Give me your life." Fearfully I finally said yes, what else could I do?

I left the Air Force convinced that no man can serve two masters, one can not serve God and the government. Not knowing any better, I returned home and to General Motors. I married a fine woman in 1979 who somehow has managed to endure me for 30 years.

A number of years later while working as an engineer for a small company, I became involved in a youth and homeless ministry. eventually becoming an assistant pastor there. Then I quite my job and we moved to the small Illinois community of Bismarck, where I became the pastor of Bismarck Congregational Christian Church. I was there until 1999 when we moved to Hidalgo county, Texas where I hoped to continue serving our Savior.

Well we're still here and I'm still trying to find out why. I've visited many churches here, been involved in many ministries, operated a print shop, was asked to be the manager of the video department of a bible school, and served as a pastor in a Southern Baptist Church for about 4 months.

But most of what has happened here is my life has been turned inside out. I now know what it is like to be crushed, to come to the point where I just wanted to flee into the desert and understand Elijah and Jeremiah. I've seen too much of the underbelly of the Church. In fact, my entire understanding of church has been shattered. Nevertheless, even when we are faithless, He remains faithful, Amen. Having our theology severely shaken can be a good thing if it breaks down the false doctrines of men and drives us anew to the Word of God to find the real truth.

I believe there are others out there like me. You know the Lord has called you. You know He has a purpose for you. Yet you feel like a fish out of water, flopping here and there, trying to find the water you were created to swim in. I'll tell you what I suspect: God has those He redeemed many years ago, those He saved for the depths of sin and darkness, kept in reserve as His last days witnesses to the power of the Gospel. There are still a remnant that can stand up and say, "I know the power of the Gospel, I know the depths of the love of God, I know what it means to be saved. You can keep your theology, your purpose driven, self affirming, seeker friendly, sin loving Church. I've met the Lord, He lifted me up out of my own filth and vomit. He washed me and clothed me. He restored my mind and body. HE IS MY SAVIOR! I am His last days witness, the work of His hands."

And together we will stand as living and dying witnesses to His unbounded love and faithfulness, to the chief of sinners, in the midst of a God hating and sin loving world.